Monthly Archives: April 2010

Good Advice: Try Not to Kill Your Customers

I DO have a valuable marketing point in this post, so please bear with me…

Last night, one of my more hyper-responsive customers (Tom) stopped by my house for dinner.   He’s been a VERY successful coaching student for approximately 8 months and was passing through the area, so I offered to cook for him.

No problem so far, right?

Except, I really, really, really can’t cook (for other people).  I don’t know why.

Something always seems to go horribly wrong.  And I’m not just being modest or polite… I mean horrendously wrong as in you want to be sure there’s an ambulance near-bye.

It always starts with the best intentions.

Last night I started with Black Bean chili.   I was just gonna heat it up from the can. But I burned it beyond recognition.  It was burned so badly, Sharon made me leave it outside on the porch to try and air out the house before Tom arrived.

There was also brown rice, of course.  How hard is it to steam brown rice?  Apparently VERY.  Because even though I make rice myself about 3x/week, this particular batch just didn’t want to make.

I put it in the steamer for well over 90 minutes, checking every 20.  (It usually only takes an hour).  God knows why, but the damn rice just wouldn’t cook.  It was INVINCIBLE .

Despite the mounds of steam, and the fact that all vegetables steamed perfectly well  (as they had a hundred time before), this particular batch just sat there like a rock.  As in, I may has well have just gone outside and scooped up some gravel to pour the burnt chili over.

Finally, there was the salad dressing.  I was going to blend up some garlic, ginger, soy sauce, and a little water.  (Usually works really well).  But for some reason this came out too thin, so I thought I’d fix that with a little Guar Gum.

Result?  Disgusting Garlic puddling.  Yummmm.

You may think I’m taking dramatic license for this post and exaggerating for effect.  But I’m not.  I’m quite realistically describing what happened.

I can’t imagine how Tom could be saying anything to his family today besides “Uhm… I don’t know why, but Glenn tried to kill me”.

When I went upstairs with Sharon at night she said “Honey, I have to say that was about the worst cooking I’ve ever, EVER had in my life.  What possessed you?”

OK, now back to marketing your business.

Tom will stay with me regardless of the bad food.  So will your most hyper-responsive customers… you’re entitled to make a mistake once in a while.

When you’ve truly established a hyper-responsive customer, your job has more to do with NOT UNSELLING them.  There’s a natural momentum the customer wants to maintain.  They want to continue the relationship and grow/consume more with you.    It’s only natural for people to want more of a good thing, right?


It really IS possible to “kill” (UNsell) your customers.

I see it all the time.

I used to supervise coaches and psychotherapists who constantly complained to me about the unreliability of their income, not having enough clients/patients, not knowing why clients constantly left before accomplishing their goals.

But when you really listened to their stories, you inevitably saw something the coach/therapist did to UNSELL their client.

Sometimes it was blatant, like confronting the client too hard before developing a solid foundation in the relationship.  Other times it was subtle, like constantly coming 1 minute late for the appointment.  (The difference isn’t the 1 minute, it’s who waits for whom, and believe me personal service clients have a whole different experience when they’re forced to wait for you instead of feeling that you’re all set, prepared, and looking forward to seeing them)

In the products business, it’s slightly under-delivering a few times in a row (they’ll usually forgive it once), after you’ve established a history of excellence and delight/surprise.

Why would a marketer do this?

Human nature, really.

We always want what we don’t yet have.  Which means we’ve always got our eye on “the next level”, too frequently forgetting about the people who got us where we are now.

You can guard against this by honestly asking yourself 3 simple questions…

– Why do my best customers stay with me?

– What have I STOPPED doing for my best customers, which I simply need to reinstall in my business?

– What have I done recently which could UNSELL my most hyper-responsive people?

OK, now, who wants leftovers?

G 🙂

PS – This isn’t the first time I’ve cooked people out of my home.  Terry Dean’s spent a weekend with me on more than one occasion.  It’s kind of fun to see him squirm (he’s so polite) and ask “Um, Glenn, how about we get  Chinese Food again tonight?”.     And Perry Marshall’s due to stop bye for lunch next month when he’s passing through.    When I offered to make vegan cooking for him, he said “that sounds like fun”.  We’ll see!

And the winner is…

There were SO many fantastic entries, but…

The WINNER is ….

1) Dave Kurko – –> for originality, message to market match, and being the first one to create an AdWords interpretation which I believe would genuinely work (and has simultaneous potential for display advertising):

Still Searching for Spot?
Quick & Safe Return of Lost Pets
Affordable Fee for Service Only

Dave, Portia will attempt to contact you via your website to arrange your prize, or you can open a ticket at and connect with her directly.   Great job!

RUNNERS UP:  (Unadvertised Prize):  please open a ticket above and then choose your prize from the following  (a) a copy of “How to Get Unstuck” (coaching assignments to obliterate obstacles, a $50 audio product) or (b) a 4 minute consult + 1 minute to read your issue beforehand

2) Pesach ben Levi ( for concise creativity and touching Sharon’s heart:


gifts of love…
flowers, puppies
Sharon’s heart shows

3) Trevor (,  for utterly and thoroughly understanding Sharon’s dog:

“Fluffy’s life-long dream of becoming a sniper hits it’s first challenge when he fails camouflage 101″

And finally…

4) Glen McNeil ( for making me laugh so hard I literally had to run to the bathroom:

Fleurs: Free Decapitated Head of Dog with Purchase.

Thanks to everyone for an amazing set of entries.  Sharon and I were up late reading them and smiling!

G 🙂

Best Caption Wins

My wife is at it again with her camera and Photoshop.  So whoever comes up with the best caption below wins a copy of The Truth Prints (my best A to Z blueprint for internet marketing, intended to provide a foundation and compliment the Hyper Responsive Marketing Club for anyone still struggling to make their first significantly profitable website) — OR — one month free in the hyper-responsive club — OR —  a 12 minute personal consultation with yours truly by telephone or skype (and 3 minutes for me to read your issue beforehand).

Extra points for internet marketing relevant captions, but the winner doesn’t necessarily have to be about marketing.

OK, go to it!

Leave your entries in the comments below.  Winner chosen solely by my personal  judgment.  No purchase necessary to win, void where prohibited, coffee is hot, don’t spill hydrochloric acid on your privates, Mama knows best, yadayadayada.

Post as many captions as you like, but only ONE comment per person please (so my filters don’t flag as spam)

Winner will be selected on Friday 4/23/10 by end of business.

G 🙂

Intellect, Fortitude, and Patience

Everything worthwhile I’ve ever accomplished in my life has boiled down to reliance on intellect, fortitude, and patience.

It’s never had much, if anything, to do with luck, “secrets”, and especially not short cuts.

Moreover, I don’t think I’ve met anyone who’s accomplished much of significance any other way.

Have you?  (I’m really curious – please let me know below)

And if not, then why are we all so perpetually curious and hungry for “the secret”?  What stops us from just getting down to the work of getting things done?  Of course, we all need to work SMART, but why do we all hold so tight to the fantasy that things will be different “someday” when we finally learn that magic something?  (“Someday” isn’t on the Calendar, I’ve checked)

What do you think?

A healthy society…

Monday’s quote WAS from Hitler.

What I had in mind was that a crowd has a tendency to follow a madman on a mission.   We’ve all got a responsibility to make sure that mission is something which benefits everyone, because the crowd can’t really tell good from evil, especially when word-smithed by someone passionate about their cause.

Thanks for all your contributions, which were all very strong and difficult to argue with in their own right!

G 🙂

PS – Sorry for the one day delay.  I woke up quite sick yesterday and decided to drive to see my Naturopath in Maine.  It’s amazing what an IV drip of Vitamin C can do to shorten a cold.  I’m better already!