Monthly Archives: June 2011

I Gained 8 Pounds on Sunday

I gained EIGHT pounds on Sunday.

It’s true.

Saturday morning I weighed 222…but on Sunday morning the scale said 230.

As in “Holy Cheese Balls Batman… that’s 8 pounds in one day!”

I turned to Sharon and said “If this keeps up, by Friday I’m going to weigh 300 pounds.

We quickly went through possible causes…

Did you move the scale dial?  No, definitely not.

Was the salad dressing last night inordinately salty?  Nope… went downstairs and checked it.  190 mg per tablespoon, and I only had three at best.

Did I eat more than I thought?

Well, to gain eight pounds I’d have to eat like 27,000 calories more, right?

But no… when I added up the day it was about 3,000 calories, which is pretty tame for a day when I lift weights and walk six miles.

Was there some kind of a solar flare that impacted how much everyone weighs in the area?  No… none of my friends or colleagues reported any similar abnormalities on their scales.

Maybe someone altered the gravitational field in my bathroom, or injected me with a strange serum which drastically altered my molecular density?

I suppose anything’s possible (I love “The Fringe” TV show, don’t you?)

But the bottom line is, no matter how many times I got on the damn scale it said 230, and that was 8 pounds more than 24 hours previous.

I was freaked out.

And the more Sharon told me not to freak out, the more freaked out I felt.   (If you’ve ever been heavy, you know the feeling)

Did I have some strange new disease?


Fast forward to Sunday evening I weighed 226…

And Monday morning I was right back at 222 (or… technically 221 if I leaned just the right way).

I didn’t do anything special to get the weight off.  I ate normally, had a reasonably sedentary Sunday,

And I’ve got NO explanation for it… and probably never will.

Which brings me to my marketing point…

There are some numbers you’re really not supposed to watch daily…

There’s just too much noise in the data…

And staying glued compulsively to your computer screen while they go up and down is a great way to make yourself crazy.  Seriously.

Which is why I’m a big proponent of figuring out the “statistically stable cycle” in your market for impressions, clicks, opt ins, and sales.

Every market is different.

There are some where the traffic comes screaming in so fast it makes your head spin…But try and run an A-B test in 24 hours and you’ll find that (even though the statisticians will tell you the results are significant at the 99.999% confidence level) the big winner on Monday is  a big loser on Tuesday.

WAY too much noise in 24 hours.

Or a common rookie mistake is to get extremely excited when a bunch of sales come in one day, and then suicidal the next day when there’s none.

That’s a manic depressive way to live.

Get to know your market better and you’ll come to take it in stride (look at monthly reports, moving averages, etc)

We all got into this internet marketing thing to drive a more SANE lifestyle right?

Something it’s all too easy to forget.

Now who wants to write an ebook about my new “Lose 8 pounds in 24 hours” diet?

Dr. G 🙂

PS – The Club

Intellectual Property Rights

Probably about once a quarter I find some website trying to organize a “group buy” of one of my high end products.  There’s usually a thread in some forum where people are praising my work, and essentially making plans to buy the product, copy it 25 or 30 times, and distribute the copies…

In other words, a conspiracy to commit copyright infringement.

Now, I know none of you loyal readers would EVER do that, but I thought I’d use the situation to point out something interesting…

Namely this…

It’s always curious to me that people who want to learn how to sell information over the internet (in order to be compensated for their knowledge and contributions), don’t think twice about cheating existing, proven, valuable contributors.

If they wanted to live in a world where people don’t respect intellectual property rights, then how could they ever hope to build an internet business?

Some people might say “Oh Glenn, c’mon, like you never copied a product before you got ‘big’?”

I won’t say I was never tempted, or that I’ve lived a 100% perfect life, but yes, I made a decision to NEVER copy products (or songs) which were obviously for sale many, many years before I “made it”, had money, or was well known in the slightest… in fact, while I was on the verge of bankruptcy.


Because I believe property rights are not only the foundation of internet business, they’re the foundation of civilization as a whole.   And the degradation of conscience  begins with little crimes, not big ones.

Moreover, my dream was to sell my knowledge.  I wanted to believe my knowledge was valuable… how could I ever achieve that if I treated other’s valuable knowledge as nothing more than shoplifting fodder?   (And actually, something which rises to the level of a felony when you’re talking about higher priced products)

In the past, I’ve let this type of theft go as it seemed to only drain a very small percentage of my profits, and such website owners usually take steps to protect themselves from prosecution (not steps which make the theft any less illegal, just steps which make it more difficult to prosecute).

I also reasoned to myself that the people who would resort to copying and stealing the products must not have very much in their lives,  probably wouldn’t succeed given the above reasons, and were their own worst punishment. (Same for those who buy products at the outset with the intention of refunding by the way)

But more recently I’ve had several important changes of heart due to the following:

  • First, my programs are always reasonably priced, with installments available, and always come with guarantees I honor.
  • I provide at least as much valuable, free information as anyone else online (I’m told I might provide the most, but I know of no objective measure!)
  • It’s occurred to me that the sites which support this kind of organized shoplifting are actually CULTIVATING criminal minds.  Many of the people who participate in these forums might never have had the idea of stealing if it weren’t for the site’s organized “group buys”, and the attractive manner in which they present them.

Moreover, I think in part it’s just a matter of having the “shop owner’s pride” to stand  up for myself and say “Listen, if you believe in me, do business with me ethically.  If you don’t, then take your business elsewhere.  And if you really can’t afford my higher end products, start with my free materials and work your way up.”

I’m really curious what you all think?

How do YOU deal with intellectual property theft in your own businesses?

Let me know OK?

G 🙂

My Favorite Motivational Video (Ever)

Whenever I feel a little stuck in my business or my life, I watch this video to be sure I’m not doing what this guy did, review my plans, and move on with inspiration (seriously). Thanks to Bryan Todd for sharing it with me last year!

PS – In my opinion, anyone spending more than $1,500/mo in AdWords should at some point have Bryan review their campaigns.   Perry Marshall himself suggests there are many things Bryan knows about AdWords that Perry does not.  Here’s my sneaky affiliate link for the consultation with Bryan Todd.  Oh, and just in case you’ve never heard it, here’s a link to a very revealing interview I did with Bryan a few years back about what distinguishes the winners from those who continue to flop and flounder in Adwords

Bing Quality Score Best Practices

Hey, guess what PPC fans?

Now there’s TWO quality scores to contend with… oh joy oh joy!!!

Even better, there are NEW CHANGES to MSN’s quality score which are about to rock your world.

Never fear, Nicole Mennicke from Rocket Clicks to the rescue.

Below you’ll find a SHORT MP3 and MSN Quality Score Cheat Sheet .

(Don’t ever say I didn’t give you nothin’)

Dr. G 🙂

RocketClicks PPC Management |  Do It Yourself |  Coaching | Total Conversion Code | Choosing Profitable Markets

I Am Human Bug Meat

My 5 Most Important Warnings for Internet Marketers:

I got ALL these bites in LITERALLY under six minutes
(That’s gotta be a new world’s record… someone call Guinness!)

OK, so Wednesday morning I woke up with nice, clean arms.

True, I was whiter than the Pillsbury Doughboy and the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man combined, but I didn’t have even a single bite.

Then Sharon called to say she had to work late, and so I got it into my head to hike the Caps Ridge Trail up Mt. Jefferson… a stunning 5,000 footer in the White Mountains.  (It stays light until 9 pm now up here… it’s like getting two days in one!)

I also thought “it’s so hot out, even though I never hike in short sleeves, today’s the day”  (In the 90s this week… a rarity for New Hampshire, where our state motto is “Live, Freeze, and Die”)

So off I went… two hours in the car, 4 litres of Fiji Water in my back pack (always gotta be Fiji!), my boots, poles, short sleeves, and big bottle of  sun block to keep me nice and white. (Because I don’t tan, I burn)

When I got there, Jefferson Notch Road was CLOSED. (The 7 mile dirt road which leads to the trail)

But there’s just something about the 4,000 footers in the Whites that calls to me…

So I decided to tackle Mt. Hale instead, because the trailhead is only 15 minutes away, and it’s another mountain I’d been wanting to knock off my list.

What I FORGOT was you absolutely do NOT want to hike near a shallow stream or still water in June unless you enjoy feeding the gnats and mosquitoes…

The trail head was more buggy than usual, but I blew it off thinking that I wouldn’t notice it once I got moving.

About half way up the trail I ran into a guy who said “it’s unbelievably buggy on top, not sure I’d continue if I were you”.

But I dismissed this warning too, thinking “he’s just an inexperienced hiker… kind of a wuss”.  (Yeah… like real men are supposed to wear bee hives as lampshades at parties, right?)

So I continued on up to the top.

At the summit I thought “this isn’t so bad”, so I took off my pack, took out my sardines and rice (a guy’s gotta eat), and prepared to enjoy a meal.


You know how people tend to say “there were a thousand bugs after me”… and you take it figuratively, meaning “there were a LOT of bugs”

I’m NOT talking figuratively.

I’m being LITERAL.

At least 1,000 bugs came swarming.

I’ve never seen anything like it…

It was like being in a horror movie (remember the scene in “Wilbur” with the rats?)

I couldn’t get my pack on quick enough…

And run for my life.

I’ll never forget it.


The bugs did NOT follow me off the summit.  I really don’t know why… maybe there was some electromagnetic force which kept them up there, maybe they were “defending their turf” and were just happy when I left, but for whatever reason I was free of them within 50 yards.

And the trip down was relatively uneventful, except for a nice 70 year old man who turned out to be a psychotherapist, horribly lost in the woods.  (I took him back down with me and gave him a ride to HIS trailhead… we head-shrinkers have got to stick together!)

So why did I tell you this story?

Because when you want something bad enough–a business goal for instance–sometimes you’ll ignore repeated, obvious, strong warnings in pursuit of it.

Granted, persistence is a necessary character trait for entrepreneurial success, and if it weren’t for hard-headed, stubborn business people innovation would never occur.

But on the other hand, there ARE paths that don’t need to be retread, problems that don’t need to be repeated.

Here are a five I’ve seen literally hundreds of times in the course of dealing with coaching students, customers, and peers:

  1. GET THE MATH RIGHT!:  If there’s one mistake which kills marketing projects way over and above all others it’s this one.   In fact, I’m going to coin a new quote right here and now “the stronger the dream, the weaker your math ability”. I’ve seen hundreds of coaching students, Glenn Club members, clients, friends, and peers plunge straight on to their “deaths” all the while completely convinced their dream MUST catch on.  Really… ask yourself how much (specifically) you’re planning to make when the business model is mature, estimate your cost per visitor, cost per lead, cost per sale, refund rate, customer service costs, chargebacks, lifetime customer value, available traffic, etc. and put it all in a big spreadsheet.  Do it NOW while you’re thinking about it, before your dreaming brain takes over and tells you “I think it’s gonna be OK because you’re such a great marketer”, or because the product idea is so cool, or because nobody else is doing it.  If you don’t have math on your side, you don’t have ANYTHING.
  2. DON’T ASSUME YOU CAN TRANSFER A JOINT VENTURE MARKETING SUCCESS INTO PAID ADVERTISING CHANNELS:   Joint Ventures carry two very, very powerful advantages which disappear when you move to paid traffic (1) the endorsement of someone with a relationship with their list and (2) the relative absence of competition at the moment of contact (in contrast to PPC, for example, when there are 20 other vendors on the page competing for your prospect’s attention).   Most successful JV projects I’ve seen were limited to JV traffic (and possibly SEO).   On the other hand, you CAN and usually should pursue joint ventures in the opposite direction… if something is profitable in paid media, there’s probably a lot of money on the table to be picked up by working with your competitors.
  3. DO RESOURCE PLANNING BEFORE YOU LAUNCH:   You’ve probably heard me say this before… In internet marketing, “the name of the game is staying in the game until you win the game”.  Most people crap out of the game not so much because they can’t manage Google, or don’t know how to advertise, or have a bad product, or aren’t making any sales… most people crap out of the game too soon because they run out of resources.  What resources?  (a) Money; (b) Time; (c) Passion for the Project; (d) Moral Support.   (In the How To Choose Profitable Markets system Terry and I spent quite some time making the point that your very market choice should be determined by your resources, and provide a spreadsheet/blueprint to help)
  4. DO YOUR FRICKING RESEARCH:  Most of you know I used to get paid between $100,000 and $500,000 to do marketing research for large companies.  What you don’t know is that the way the internet has evolved, there are now literally dozens of ways to get the same information for free.   Someone could make a business out of just compiling consumer language from the buyer reviews on alone… it’s absolutely amazing!  There’s absolutely no reason to play blind archery anymore.
  5. SELL RESULTS, NOT PROCEDURES:   (Thanks to Perry Marshall for this one).  For example, my wife’s been developing a web-video infomercial service for entrepreneurs.  She really is among the best in the world at her craft… but the problem is, people don’t want infomercials, they want CUSTOMERS.   So I’m helping her develop a model where the client simply covers her costs of production (usually just a few thousand dollars), and then they pay for phone calls and sales instead.

Now, no one’s invulnerable to the allure of the mountain top.

We all trudge ahead on our journeys despite the warnings and clear signs on the road.

Dreams are the stuff of life.. they make us human…

And nobody’s more prone to them than I, as evidenced by my lovely bug-meat story.

But above are the 5 most important warnings I want engraved on my tombstone for all the entrepreneurs that ever come visit me OK?

Onwards and Upwards,

Dr. Bugmeat 🙂

Coaching |  Do it Yourself | Choosing Profitable Markets |  Audio-Video Infomercials |  Total Conversion Code