Monthly Archives: July 2013

Dear Google: How to Make Me Miserable…

I suppose I understand why Google is removing their formerly-extremely-valuable-tools-for-marketing-geeks (The Keyword Tool, Google Reader, RSS Feeds for Alerts, etc).   The bottom line is, the money is in the shallow end of the pool, not the deep end.  If you want to make millions, market to the masses, not to the propeller head, spreadsheet loving, direct-response-education consuming Ph.D marketing junkies like me.

Similarly, I hope you’ll avoid making the mistake of marketing exclusively to the 0.1% of the market who is as knowledgeable, passionate, and expert about your topic as you are.  (Not to be confused with letting the most hyper-responsive customers educate you about the market please)

I don’t fault Google for doing this.  It takes a lot of resources to maintain these things, and the ROI just isn’t there.  It’s smart business.

However, it makes me truly miserable.  Because not only aren’t those tools available for me, but I then have to spend weeks researching work-a-rounds for the systems I’ve taught thousands of people to rely upon.  (Don’t worry, one will be forthcoming shortly to replace the Alerts RSS feed, and I’ve already posted the work-around for the keyword tool in the club)

So in this spirit, I thought I’d try to save Google some time in their efforts to make me miserable by making this list.  Feel free to add to it if you’ve got ideas:

  • I often walk around the house without shoes.  Perhaps Google could hire some small neighborhood children to randomly charge at me when I’m not looking and spit on my feet…
  • In my refrigerator on the right hand side I always keep about 4 containers of organic greens.  Google could, perhaps, hire someone to contaminate them with plutonimum
  • My computers are on the fourth floor of the house.  I have one with Windows XP, and another with Windows 7.  I’m sure they could find a local college kid to program them with subliminal messages that say “there are scorpions and spiders under your bed while you sleep” that flashed at me all day long.  That would be great.
  • I love berries.  They’re good for your immune system, and I’m sure to eat at least a pound every day.  Perhaps Google could arrange to put so much caffeine in my blueberries that I’m promptly driven to an amphetamine psychosis, hospitalized, and no longer able to work
  • Last year we had a flood in our basement.  I particularly enjoyed that experience.  Perhaps they could hire a firetruck to come and pump a few feet of water in?

Anyway, I just thought if the product managers at Google were sitting around brainstorming ways to make me miserable I might as well lend them a hand.


I’ve recently discovered that most merchant account underwriters are overcharging.  Which means most entrepreneurs are paying way too much.  Plus, most entrepreneurs have NO plan for dealing with merchant account problems associated with sudden growth spurts or spikes in charge-backs, etc.  Which is pretty dumb, because sudden growth spurts always come with those kinds of problems, and sudden growth spurts is what we’re all working to engineer in the first place!

So just go fill out the short contact form on to find out how much you can save (FREE ANALYSIS).   Sure, I’ll make a little money if you do decide to switch, but you’ll put a LOT more back in your bank account every year.  If you’re doing any regular credit card processing at all the odds are there are thousands of dollars just sitting on the table.

It only takes minutes to switch, and this is NOT something where we sell your name to dozens of brokers.  I’ve connected with a really good source and you’ll deal with one primary person to figure out the best solution for you.

Because here’s another way to get miserable…

Engineer a really strong monthly income, then have it all come crashing down because the money-movers won’t let you process!


Saying Goodbye to Old Marketing Friends…

This is probably the SADDEST blog post I’ll ever write…

And the most difficult one to get out, word by word…

In some ways, I’m not even sure I should be sharing it publicly, that’s how deep the feelings about my old marketing friend…

But there are some things you need to share in order to heal…

Some wounds that only get better when you expose them to air…

And some marketing friends who deserve public mentions and honor, no matter how much it hurts.

Because you see no matter how much I loved my marketing friend…

No matter how many millions she made me…

No matter how good she was to me…

There comes a time when she’s bound to get sick and old, and you just have to move on…

I’m talking about (I can’t believe I’m going to share this, my eyes are tearing and there’s this horrific feeling in my gut as I’m writing this)…

I’m talking about “Bertha”…

The HP Computer I’ve used for the last 8 1/2 years.

You see, way back in 2005 I realized something.  I was spending WAY too much time constantly adjusting to upgraded software, new versions of Windows, etc, and it was robbing me of being able to focus on the fundamentals.

So Bertha, myself, and the old Windows XP operating system became VERY good friends.

New versions came and went, but Bertha and I just trudged along, doing research, writing copy, making products, recording and distributing interviews, building lists, and, well, just plain selling stuff.

I got very attached.

But sooner or later even your best friends get old, and you have to be willing to let nature take it’s course.

So in December (8 months ago now) I bought a brand spanking new computer and put it on top of Bertha, figuring I’d make the switch slowly, one program at a time.

Alas, I just sat and watched the new computer… I loved Bertha just too much to let go.

But I’ve gotta say I think it’s finally time…

I’ll be 49 years old in a few weeks, and nobody thinks I’m a kid anymore.  I’ve got no excuses for trudging around the block with my old teddy bear.

Or do I?

Time will tell,

Dr. G 🙂

Disturbing Things Marketers Do with Dogs

Some marketers will do anything to make a point, even resorting to very, VERY disturbing things with their dogs:

And here’s my point for today:
The real-estate directly underneath every picture

on your site is extremely valuable… people can’t
help but read what you put there, so use it
to drive home benefit rich statements
critical take-away-points 

One really simple way to engineer a conversion bump on your site is to go through the “eye pathway” that takes people from picture to picture, and ask yourself if you’re driving home the key points, claims, etc. that you really want people to take-away in sequential order…

I find this is a pretty rare technique on most of my student’s sites, however.  They pay a lot of attention to headlines, subheads, offers, and guarantees.  Excellent… attention well spent!

But as more and more people become time pressured and attention becomes harder and harder to get from your prospect, it becomes progressively more critical to ensure the “quick scan” elements convey benefits in seconds.

For example, this picture appears close to the top of my coach certification and training academy letter. The purpose of the picture is immediately transport the prospect into the lifestyle they COULD have, and to get them to identify with yours truly (who has it already).

But I don’t assume the picture will do the whole job. I know most readers will quickly glance below the picture for a “caption”… something to orient them to what they’re looking at and TELL THEM HOW TO PERCEIVE IT. Have a look:

Just a little farther down the page I have a picture intended to portray the step by step, simple nature of the COACHING SYSTEM I’m going to teach them.  Of course, I don’t let the picture do all the work, I explain it immediately below (and use the opportunity to present some additional PROOF elements since I know I’ve got their attention)…

And then, after some scan-able copy which clearly links a coach’s income to their CONFIDENCE and ABILITY TO PRODUCE RESULTS for their clients (and the ability to produce results to their ability to keep clients long enough to accomplish their goals)… I present this picture to convey this in human form:

But again, notice I took the time to TELL THEM HOW TO PERCEIVE the picture, I didn’t let the picture do it on it’s own.

I think the reason so many marketers skip this step is because they’ve heard “A picture is worth 1,000 words” so many times they believe the picture should speak for itself. But my experience suggests that a picture PLUS a little bit of benefit-laden guidance underneath it multiples those thousand words by quite a bit.

Anyway, that’s my valuable marketing lesson, derived from the most disturbing things I’ve done with my dog to date! (By the way, when you come across attention getting pictures you just can’t ignore, put them in a folder and save them. It’s not unusual to collect such pictures without any idea how to use them in your marketing immediately, but over time some situation inevitably comes up and you’ll be thrilled to have them at the ready!)


Dr. Glenn 🙂

PS – The first, foundational class for my new Coach Training and Marketing Academy sold out before the early bird deadline last week, so if you’d like to get into the August class, please register now!  You’ll save $500 if you sign up before July 24th:  (In just 12 weeks, you can become a certified professional coach, confident in your abilities, and fully equipped to grow a thriving practice from anywhere, or your money back!)


MP3: Is Your Merchant Account at Risk? Or Are You Being Bilked?

How Much Money Are You Leaving on the Table with Your Merchant Account?
Could ONE Quick Growth Spurt Put Your Entire Business at Risk?

Most entrepreneurs don’t give their merchant accounts a second thought. But shaving 1/2%, 3/4%, or even a full point off your discount rate can be worth a fortune to your bottom line every year. Plus, having the wrong merchant account puts your entire business at risk if (and when) you experience that sudden growth spurt you’re trying so hard to create. Don’t wait until it’s too late…

Listen to this SHORT INTERVIEW to find out just how much you can save, and the RIGHT way to develop a relationship with your merchant account (and merchant account broker) so you’re not only poised for growth, but are able to tap into the huge discounts in fees available to entrepreneurs who take their merchant accounts seriously!

Onwards and Upwards,

Dr. G 🙂

PS – For a free expert merchant account consultation, please head on over to

Comparison Charts as a Conversion Enhancer

So, one of the best things that came out of last year’s constant public web-site critiques for me was the power of a COMPARISON CHART. I mean, think about it. In a comparison chart…

– You set the buying criteria
– You decide what to focus on
– You get to show the prospect why every other option on the market besides yours is, well, just wrong!


Your customer is trying to compare your product or service to every other option on the market anyway, including the option of doing nothing, so why not make it easy for him to do it while he’s looking at YOUR materials?

Yet hardly anyone does it.

So today, I want to give you an assignment…

I want you to go to my new academy site and scroll down about 2/3rds down the page (right under the tuition section) and look at the comparison chart to see how we’re doing it in practice.

I’m not saying it’s perfect, but heck, at least IT’S THERE! It’s also reasonably well researched and factual, genuinely saving the consumer time while presenting us in the best possible light.

Do you have one on your site?

Now, just one more thing before you click.

I have to admit this is a SHAMELESS reason to also get you to consider the academy for yourself…

And if you ARE going to consider it, well, you should get in YESTERDAY because…

– The early bird discount expires on Friday
– I’m teaching the foundational classes personally
– We’re going to be working in small groups
– The base price is going go up VERY soon
– And there’s only ONE left this month for this list!

OK, enough said. Have a look at the comparison chart on the letter, about 2/3rds of the way down this page please:

G 🙂