I Am Ugly, Oh So Very, Very Ugly

It’s confession time, and I’m finally ready to admit it… I’m ugly.  Oh so very very ugly.

I’ve tried for 4 years now to make what I do seem sexy, but it’s not.

That’s why you don’t see any beauty contests for marketing researchers.  No bikini babes lined up with surveys and statistics.  No hunky t-shirts of 45 year old men showing their market segmentation tables and graphs.   No endless, seemingly irrelevant display ads stalking you across the internet which say “click here for some hot market research action”.

And nobody really wants to talk about market research at parties.

Because market research isn’t a “bottom line function”, it’s just not that attractive.

Most marketers would rather jump into the market and try to make money right away, slogging it out on the battle field, licking their wounds as they go along.  But I’d rather sweat in training than bleed in battle.

So I’m constantly imploring people to avail themselves of the literally hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of FREE information available today online.  To slow down, digest and organize it all, choose their targets carefully, and plan their attack methodically.

Which somehow makes me the bad guy in their minds.  Because I’m not as sexy as the newest traffic technique, or the quickest way to make money this week.

Oh well, I guess I’m destined for an ugly life, having a (comparatively) small but rabid group of followers who make more money doing rather than teaching.

A group of Ugly Tortoises with X-Ray Vision and steadily growing businesses, not flash in the pan booms and busts.

I guess people don’t really want to see that at the beach.

But  I honestly can’t see any other way.

And you know who DOES think market research is sexy?

Fortune 100 companies who can afford it. I’m NOT talking about the DUMB brand managers who go without research and just consult their wife for an opinion on which poodle to show in the ad. I’m talking about the smart companies who research the hell out of their markets before they spend $20,000,000 on an advertising campaign.

To them, $100,000 for a research project is a drop in the bucket, they do those day in and day out. I ought to know, I’ve done plenty of them.

But what if I told you that you could get MORE information about your market for $77 than than these companies are getting for $100,000? What if I reminded you that I used to conduct those projects, and have translated these research principles into practical, easy to implement, step by step procedures and illustrated them all in over my shoulder videos and cheat sheets?

Would you still hesitate to join before my final price increase?

Because I’m going to jump the price from $77 to $97 on Friday morning. And because I NEVER increase the price on existing members, this is your last chance to LOCK IN YOUR RATE to learn this ugly, ugly form of marketing, tested and proven in over a dozen markets, and honed over a lifetime of an ugly researcher’s career.

So? How about a little kiss? Yes?

PS – My stuff USED TO be difficult. It USED TO make people’s brain’s hurt. Not any more… now it’s EASY, just not sexy. (Kind of like this lady above). But I know you’ll be happier with the results! Price jumps to $97 on Friday